On this episode I discuss the value of rabbit trails in the process of understanding. In order to make sense of anything we have to connect what we know with what we don’t. Making this connection isn’t a clean, clear process. We have to wander and so do teens.

How often do teens take rabbit trails? Often. How do we adults usually respond? We try to bring the students back to the topic.

What would happen if we allowed, even encouraged, students to explore these rabbit trails? We often avoid or discourage rabbit trailing because we don’t think it’s helpful. But who is the rabbit trail NOT helping? It may not be helping us but it may be essential for a student. Our job is to encourage constructive wandering and provide clear boundaries in which teens can explore and make connections.

I’ve stumbled upon an old Neil Postman and Charles Weingartner book, Teaching as a Subversive Activity, and am having a Holy Grail-like response to it. In the book Postman and Weingartner pose what they call a "What’s-Worth-Knowing Questions Curriculum." It’s composed of several parts that I will outline here:

1. THE ART AND SCIENCE OF ASKING QUESTIONS

2. THE QUESTIONS NEED TO DEAL WITH PROBLEMS THAT ARE PERCEIVED AS USEFUL AND REALISTIC BY THE LEARNERS (as opposed to useful and realistic by the teachers)

Here are some questions they pose as a standard for asking good questions:

1. Will your questions increase the learner’s will as well as his capacity to learn?
2. Will they help to give him a sense of joy in learning?
3. Will they help to provide the learner with confidence in his ability to learn?
4. In order to get answers, will the learner be required to make inquiries? (Ask further questions, clarify terms, make observations, classify data, etc.?)
5. Does each question allow for alternative answers (which implies alternative modes of inquiry)?
6. Will the process of answering the questions tend to stress the uniqueness of the learner?
7. Would the questions produce different answers if asked at different stages of the learner’s development?
8. Will the answers help the learner to sense and understand the universals in the human condition and so enhance his ability to draw closer to other people?

I’ve long thought about and looked for a standard like this. I’m sure we could add to and even improve upon this if we put our minds together. For example, I think it impossible to separate the question from the question-asker. I’d like to add a question: "Is the person asking the question sincerely interested in what students think?" Other additions?

Listen in on Part 2 of my interview with Vanessa Van Patten, author, teen expert, parenting coach, etc. If you enjoyed Part 1, I think you will really enjoy this portion of our conversation. I particularly liked discussing the question: What is your gift to the world? Have you ever thought how you might answer that question?

Thanks.

-Andrew

Vanessa Van Petten has a unique perspective on teens. Not only does she work directly with teens and their parents, it wasn’t that long ago that she was one. Now an adult, Vanessa is committed to helping adults get a glimpse behind the veil of what can often be confusing, frustrating teen behavior.

In my recent interview with Vanessa we discuss her experience of being a teen, the book she wrote when she was 17 (You’re Grounded), and how she provides a unique, fresh perspective to adults that want to relate better with teens.

To learn more about Vanessa and her work look at her website, OnTeensToday.com.

On with the interview!

Andrew

“What did you do when you were my age?”

Yikes! No one likes to be asked about their past, regrettable experiences. This question confronts us with some difficult realties of our own personal narrative. Our story, the good, the bad, and everything in between, is a powerful narrative and has the potential to change teens in a way that nothing else can.

We often fall off one of two sides of the horse: we’re too tight lipped, or we share too much. In this episode I provide three questions you can ask to help you determine what is (and is not) appropriate to share.

1. Will it help?
2. Are they asking?
3. Is the story about the student?

Andrew

On this episode we address the question, How can I encourage teens to be more engaged?

What kind of engagement do we need to make the greatest difference possible? We all want teens to make good decisions and want to be a part of shaping their decision making process. Active engagement is a prerequisite for change.

The focus of this episode is how to move teens from being unengaged to being actively engaged. The key ingredient is you. There is a contagious nature to engagement. When we’re engaged teens will be more likely to be engaged.

Thank you for listening.

-Andrew

What do you think of when you think of engaged teens? What do you associate with engagement? How do you know when students are engaged?

I think of student engagement in three categories:

-Andrew

It can be difficult to know how to best respond to the challenges teens present us. Teens can challenge us by arguing, ignoring, or otherwise make our life difficult. How can we respond to strengthen, instead of weaken, our relationship? We tend to respond in one of two ways: as a Pacer or a wagon. Listen the episode to understand what I mean.

In short, the antidote for teens’ challenges is to:

1. STOP

2. FOCUS

3. JOIN

We have to match them step for step. Until we stop and focus we can’t see what step we need to match. When we do this we create a rhythm and tone that joins us to the teen in a way that can impact them and us.

I don’t mean to make this sound easy. It’s not. To stop and focus takes tremendous effort and selflessness. I means we have to make secondary our own agenda in favor of the teen’s. When we do this we are able to see and address the needs of the teen. It strengthens our relationships with them, a prerequisite for positive change.

Enjoy the episode!